Monday, November 18, 2013

This was in November, but apparently I forgot to publish it. Oops.


I said I was going to be better about blogging, and then I went and got myself a life and that flew out the window.

Let's do some updating, shall we?

What I'm Up To:


I work about 45-50 hours a week, and also wait tables on weekends at my brother's restaurant, so I'd say I work about 60-70 hours a week most weeks.

Oh, and my work approved me to enroll in graduate school, so starting January, I will be taking online courses to get my MS. Woohoo!

I am pretty sure that once I start up with grad school, waiting tables will have to go. Obviously I can't quit my full-time job, and I need to keep my health/fitness as a priority, so waiting tables is the only thing I can get rid of. It'll suck because the money and environment is so much fun, but my brother absolutely understands and is supportive of me getting more education, especially on my company's dime.


I go out with my friends usually at least once a week, and go on a date at least once a week (I have someone I am seeing but we haven't had THAT TALK yet, but it's no biggie. We're just enjoying each other's company and so yeah.)

Working Out

I did The Color Run in Baltimore this past Sunday with four of my best friends and it was the most fun I have had in a long, long time. They are amazing, especially my friend Beth who RAN THE ENTIRE THING. This is the woman who told me less than a year ago that she a) DOES NOT RUN and b) does NOT wear white in public. Then she started C25K a few months ago and I asked her to join the race again, and BAM. Her first 5K, and she rocked it. We are doing another one together in December, and I'm hopefully going to do an 8K with Holly the weekend after that.

Other than that, I am struggling with my workouts. The time change has really messed me up. I love to run outside. But with working 9-10 hour days, it's dark by the time I get out of work, unless I start showing up at work at 6am, and that is just NOT gonna happen.

So my options are to use the treadmill in my company's gym, which I have done a few times, but it is SO BORING. And the TV there only plays Fox News and you can't change the channel. I know. Ridiculous. I HATE the treadmill, ugh.

I could attempt to run outside at night, but that feels massively unsafe to me. The only well-lit areas that I am really aware of are not in the safest of areas. I may try running the local college campus, but again, I am concerned about safety. Do you have any night-running safety tips I can use? I wouldn't be running on a road, just on the campus, but still...

I've been taking Zumba classes when I can, but that doesn't always work scheduling wise, and the place I go is REALLY crowded sometimes and it's hard to concentrate on getting a good workout when you are trying not to smack the person next to you in the head.

And last but not least.... I won the giveaway on It's A Dog Lick Baby World for a free entry to any Spartan Race. I know, what the heck was I thinking? But I am going to attempt to do it, I just have no idea where to start. I have zero upper body strength. HELP.


My eating has not been that great. I could make excuses left, right, and center, but really, I have just been lazy. I'm struggling with binging again because of stress, but I am trying to fight it. Luckily, I haven't gained any weight, but I haven't lost in awhile either. I'm holding steady at 202-205. I had hoped to be under 200 by Thanksgiving, but my discipline has just flown out the window.

I'm determined to enjoy myself in moderation during the holidays and have given myself a five-pound buffer. Come January, I'm going back to tracking and scheduling workouts, hopefully establishing a training schedule in order to prepare for the Spartan race.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Technical Difficulties

I have no idea why everything has disappeared from my blog.

What the heck is going on?

Friday, October 4, 2013

On 55 pounds lost.

This morning I weighed in at 204.6. According to my MFP sidebar, that puts me at 56 pounds lost.

Things that have changed since I have lost 55 pounds:

  • I can shop at straight-sized stores again (though I don't really have the money to do so at the moment)
  • I don't automatically hate every picture I see of myself
  • My butt looks FANTASTIC from running (even if I've been majorly slacking lately)
  • I don't feel like I am being judged for eating in public as much as I used to
  • I'm not tired all the time
  • My back doesn't hurt when I wake up in the morning
  • Climbing a flight of stairs is nothing
  • I'm getting positive attention from men and have been dating
  • My grocery bill is lower because I buy fresh things and eat them before they go bad
  • I sleep more soundly
  • I feel more confident in general

Hand on the hip is surprisingly flattering. Too bad I don't have red hair.

It hasn't been easy. And I still have another 50 pounds or so to go (we'll see). But I am *thisclose* to being the weight I was when I got divorced in 2008 and ballooned out of sheer depression.

I haven't really talked about that much, but yeah, I got divorced in 2008. I was married for 3.5 years to a man I thought I wanted to be with forever. I got married because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. After all, that's what my parents did, and they have an awesome marriage, so if I did that too, then my marriage would be amazing, right?

I don't even recognize myself.

Oh, how wrong I was. My ex-husband and I didn't live together before we got married and it was, suffice it to say, quite the adjustment. Couple that with sheer ignorance of how to be an adult on both our parts, and well, it wasn't a marriage. It was playing at marriage, with one stubborn-as-hell spoiled Mommy's boy (him) and one headstrong spoiled only-girl-in-a-family-of-all-older-brothers (me). It was a recipe for disaster that ended with him being angry and distant and me completely losing who I was in my desperation to be what I thought he wanted me to be.

I'm not sure why this has been on my mind a lot lately. It seems like so long ago, and like it happened to someone else. Maybe it was because I went back to my college alma mater this past weekend and felt like I had stepped into my past. I stood in front of my senior year dorm where I watched my roommate and the guy I loved kiss not 100 yards from me, no idea that I was there and saw the whole thing (right after my computer lost my thesis paper).

I went into the church on campus and remembered singing in the choir when I was a music major. I walked by where we met up for orientation and sat on the bench I had to rest on after I got the flu REALLY badly my freshman year and my mom couldn't come and take care of me.

I've grown a lot since then. I live alone. I have a good full-time job, I cook, I clean, I have successfully kept this silly Monkey alive for 9 years.

Yes, my last relationship didn't work out. But it's going to be okay. I didn't think it would be okay 10 years ago when I saw Mike and Jessica kissing, or 5 years ago when I finally had the guts to say out loud "I want a divorce". But it will be. It has to be.

Friday, September 27, 2013

What I've Been Doing

Yes, I know I said I was back. But apparently I am full of it, because I then went over a week and a half without posting.

But I have an excuse! I've been getting a life! Seriously. I am in such a great place right now: great friends, happy with my job, and even dipping my toes into the dating pool, which has been surprisingly way more successful than I ever anticipated (or maybe I don't have very high expectations?).

Right now, unfortunately I have caught the Death Plague Cold (TM). Of course, I am heading to DC tonight to see some of my fabulous friends that I haven't seen since January, so this will be wonderful. I can't wait.

Other things I've been doing...

Getting Thai food with the fabulous Heidi.

Drinking tea and hanging with my best girl on a sick day from work (while looking at The Daily Corgi, because corgis = awesome)

Trying to sell crap like this on Craigslist (can't imagine why no one wants it...)

Hitting up the Greek food festival with friends Joe, Anthony, and Heidi.

Taking Bella for frozen yogurt.

Trying to figure out what the hell to do with eight pattypan squash.

Going to the Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire.

Taking pictures of bacon

Working at my brother's restaurant

Eating pumpkin funnel cake

Taking pictures of the last place I ran. I've really been slacking on that, and um, my first 5K is in oh, a week? Crap. Anyone have any good tips on how to be prepared to run a 5K when I haven't run in two weeks and am getting over a cold?

Monday, September 16, 2013

Friend Makin' Monday: Relationships and Dating

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Relationships and Dating

1.  List five characteristics that you think are important in a significant other. 
Only five? Hooboy. Good person. Employed/self-sufficient. Wants to do fun stuff to me ifyouknowwhatImean. Loves animals. Not abusive/addict/alcoholic.

Oh my.

2.  If you had to choose between staying single for the next two years (as in, no dating at all,) or receiving $10,000, which would you choose?  
Wait, am I reading this right? I can take 10K AND get to date? Why would anyone want to stay single then and not date? I don't get it.

3.  What is your relationship status?  Are you satisfied with it?
I'm single. I recently got out of a five year relationship and while it has been hard, it's the right thing. So yes, I'm satisfied. I am dating.

4.  Would you date someone who has children?  
I would, but to be honest, it's not my ideal situation. But then again, what ever is?

5.  Would you date someone who’s shorter than you?  
Sure, if we are compatible in every other way.

6.  Would you date someone who has different political views?
Sure, as long as they are open to discussion and not a jerk about it.

7.  If you were going on vacation together, would you choose the beach or the mountains?  
I love both, but right now, I'd choose the beach.

8.  How do you show someone that you’re interested in them?  
I smile, I laugh, I touch their arm, I tease.

9.  Do you prefer to date people who are older than you or younger? 
Older. Mid-to-late 30s.

10.  Share some details of your dream date. 
Doesn't really matter to me as long as we get along, laugh, are attracted, and I get an awesome kiss at the end.

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions!  Don’t forget to come back and link up in the comments!  Say hello to someone new too!  Happy Monday, friends!

Friday, September 13, 2013

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack.

I took a little break from blogging because of Real Life, but I think I'm back now. At least for a little bit.

I'll admit the reason I took down my blog for a bit was stupid: a boy. I was afraid a boy would find it and be like "WOW WHAT A FATTY, GROSS. DON'T WANT TO HIT THAT."

But then I realized, my weight is a big part of who I am now. And if a guy can't deal with the fact that I was once heavier and out of shape, do I really want him as a part of my life?

This isn't about a specific guy, it's just in general.


I'm weighing in at 209 pounds. I only lost 3 pounds in August, and suddenly I've lost about 4 pounds in a week or so. I don't know if it's because I loosened up with what I was eating or what, but I'll take it.

Holy crap, I kind of have a jawline now.

I've been spending lots of time being social with friends and it's been wonderful. I have a fantastic group of friends who have been incredibly supportive throughout the past few months, and I am so lucky.

This is Heidi, she is awesome. She is a writer of smut. You should see her butt. I adore her. That's Jeri behind her. I also adore Jeri. She is sunshine and unicorns.

That's Anthony, Heidi's husband. His teddy bear has a blog. And Jesse, Jeri's husband, who gives great hugs.

Mmm, pumpkin beer.

Riding a corgi into battle.

Street art.

Onward, friends.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

How normal people eat and a self-image freak-out.

Janetha posted a link to this very interesting article on the Huffington Post: 5 Ways to Eat Like a 'Normal' Person (That Dieters Just Don't Get)

This is just... completely not me. I think about food all the damn time. If I don't plan my meals or look at menus ahead of time, I get anxious. And then I question myself: Is this healthy behavior? Am I giving myself an eating disorder (beyond what I'm already dealing with)?

And is it okay to plan and count calories when I am actively trying to lose weight? It's better to do that than remain obese and unhealthy, right? (Please keep in mind that obese and unhealthy are NOT synonymous. *I* was obese and unhealthy. But one can be unhealthy at any weight, and one can be obese and be otherwise extremely healthy. I am talking only about my personal experience.)

I'm trying to practice moderation, but it's hard for me. I am a volume eater, and tend to have very black-and-white reactions to things: it's all or nothing. If I'm going to eat chocolate, I'm going to eat an entire bar or a handful of Hershey's Kisses. None of this "oh just one or two" stuff. Like everything in my life, I do it whole hog and go all out. No half-assing it here.

On a completely unrelated note, I am completely insecure in how I look right now. Yesterday I had a full-blown meltdown over it. I was wearing grey jeans, a black V-neck t-shirt, and Converse sneakers. Two, three, four months ago, this outfit would have looked fine. But since I've started running, my lower body has been shrinking RAPIDLY. Less than a month ago, I bought three pairs of size 18 pants. They are all too big now to the point where I had to buy a belt this weekend. My 2X shirts are billowy now, and men's XL t-shirts are rapidly approaching that point.

The shirt I had on yesterday was a ladies' XL, and it looked awful. (You must be thinking "WHY DID YOU WEAR IT THEN, LIZ?" I'll tell you why: because I had to do some climbing around on a large structure yesterday for my job, and the last time I wore it, it looked okay, so I stupidly assumed it would STILL look okay.)

I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-length mirror in the bathroom and promptly lost my shit. I looked terrible. My jeans were too big, too baggy, my shirt made me look huge. I looked frumptastic. I looked like the frumpiest frump who ever frumped, and I didn't even have silver sandals on or horizontal stripes or a Davidson visor.
I freaked out to my work-wife, Joanna, who lent me a pair of sandals, and I ran to Ross as soon as I got out of work and frantically tried on random items until I found something that would be acceptable for my evening plans. I succeeded, but barely. I wish I had had more time.

Anyway, the point of this blathering on and on is that none of my clothes fit, and I can't go dropping $50 every time I want to buy something that fits. I'm going to do a major closet clean-out next weekend, but I'd really prefer not to live in elastic waist pants for the next several months while I continue losing weight.

Monday, August 26, 2013


If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Questions and Answers

1.  What is a typical weekday like for you?  
I wake up around 6AM and get ready for work and am at work by 7:30AM at the latest. I work until 5-5:30PM, then go run until about 7PM. I get home, throw dinner in the oven, and take a rinse-off shower while dinner cooks. Then I chill on the couch with TV and internets.

2.  Name one song that never fails to make you happy and one song that you always listen to when you’re sad.  
"A Better Son/Daughter" by Rilo Kiley. ANTHEM!

3.  Did you watch the VMA’s last night?  
I did not. I watched Roxanne. I had no idea the VMAs were even on, but apparently I missed a twerkathon.

4.  Share at least two talents that you possess.
I am a great cook and am good at finding bargains.

5.  Share one thing that you wish you had the confidence to do.  
Wear clothes that show off my body/flatter me.

6. Tell us about one insecurity that people might be surprised that you have.  
I am constantly second-guessing myself and care too much about what others think of me.

7.  If you could be the CEO of any company, which one would you choose to lead? 
The Humane Society of the United States. And I would completely overthrow everything they do and make them actually help animals.

8. List at least three hobbies that make you happy.  
Cooking, running, and reading.

9.  Is there someone in your life that you wish you could say “I love you” to?  

10.  Share one cool thing that happened over the weekend.  
I went to an awesome cigar box guitar/jug band show and the local Artsfest!!

Now it’s your turn to answer this week’s questions. Happy Monday, friends!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

"You're so inspiring!"

I feel like I am constantly apologizing for sporadic posts. The truth is, my life is very busy right now, between work, personal stuff, and trying to have an active social life.

It seems like a lot of people have been noticing my weight loss lately (down to 213.2 as of this morning!). I don't know if it's because I bought pants that fit, or what, but I've been getting a lot of compliments. Some people have even gone so far as to say "You are so inspiring!"

The thing is, I don't feel inspiring. I still feel like the invisible fat girl in the room. And while I am still quite far from my goal and have a long way to go, I know that I am looking better than I have in years. My double chin is almost gone, I can feel my hipbones again, and my pants (the ones I JUST BOUGHT) are too big for me.

But on the inside, I am still insecure, feeling like I have to be funny or outlandish to get positive attention, and when someone tells me I'm attractive, I think they are lying to me.

I'd really love to hear from anyone else who has had to deal with this. Anyone? How long does it take for the inside to match the outside?

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Busy Saturday and lots of talk about delicious foods I bought.

What a day!

First, let me back up to Friday night. Last night involved Chinese food and frozen yogurt, and dude, I think I have a food hangover today.

I call this "The Deathstar". It consists of chocolate yogurt, peanut butter yogurt, brownie bites, a crumbled chocolate chip cookie, crushed Oreos, rainbow sprinkles, caramel syrup, and chocolate syrup. Seriously sugar overload, but SO good. HOLY YUM, HAHAHA AM I POPULAR AND WEARING SHORTS UP MY HOO-HAH YET? GIMME FREE TRIPS! Whoops, sorry. I channeled someone else for a second there.

I eat pretty healthy usually, and I seriously felt hungover this morning. I don't know if it was because of the MSG or the sodium or the sugar or what, but all I want to do is drink water today.

Anyway, I didn't sleep well because of the sugar and MSG, but I got up and went to a nearby community yardsale where I scored some hanging metal baskets that get my produce up and off the counter, and a bunch of Star Wars toys for a friend of mine.

These squirrels looked strangely evil to me.

Then it was off to the farmer's market to say hi to my Mama and brother, and have lunch with some friends. All that sugar last night didn't stop me from trying some amazing Filipino food today at a stand that just opened at the market. It was AWESOME.

Pork (in?) adobo with jasmine rice. The pork was slow simmered and fell right off the bone. I ate every bite. If you're local, you HAVE to try Tasa in Central Market!

I bought a ridiculous amount of fruits and veggies:
  •  an eggplant for eggplant fries
  • two huge beefsteak tomtatoes that I plan to roast with olive oil and roasted garlic salt and top with fresh mozzarella
  • green beans
  •  white peaches
  • a dozen ears of white corn that I'm going to cook up and freeze the kernels
  • Oh, and some Carolina-style mustardy barbecue sauce. 
  • And four different smoked salts because I am addicted to the stuff.
  • And a sea salt caramel and chocolate cupcake.
  • And some more stuff that I'm sure I'm forgetting.

... man I'm hungry now. I'm going to go make some burgers for dinner. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Wednesday randomness

Just a list of stuff that is running through my head.

  • Oh my God, I am terrified of dating again. How the hell do you find a man in his 30s who a) does not already have children (I really don't want to be a stepmom, y'all), b) doesn't live in his mother's basement/has a job/is a productive adult, and c) isn't some kind of freak who wants to like, do really weird gross stuff on me or something?

  • Should I be eating something ("refueling", wtf, it's EATING something) after I finish running? I usually chug some water, come home, throw dinner in the oven, shower, and end up eating like, an hour after I finish. I don't want to drink gross protein shakes or eat protein balls or whatever people who pose with their hand permanently stuck to their hip do, I just want to make sure I am Doing It Right.

    Maybe I'll just drink gasoline.
  • Speaking of running, my Runtastic stuff says that I am burning about 200-225ish calories per mile. Is that accurate? It doesn't seem accurate to me... I mean, I am slow as hell. Anyone out there around 215 pounds who could shed some light on this for me?

    Yes, I know, I am slow as hell. No judging allowed. Right now I am just trying to finish the Zombie runs, not going for super speed.
  • I vacillate between "I FEEL HOT, Y'ALL SHOULD WANT THIS" and self-loathing that makes me wonder if anyone will ever find me attractive again. I KNOW. Ridiculous.
  • Crap, I have so much cleaning in my house to do. Like, SO MUCH. I am considering hiring a maid service or someone who wants to earn some bucks to help me get a handle on it/create a baseline of clean. Has anyone ever done this?

Monday, August 12, 2013

FMM and shtuff

Sorry I have been shitty at best with my posts (all 8 of you that actually read this, lol). I'm going through a breakup right now and working 50 hours a week in addition to trying to keep up with healthy habits, so things are kind of all over the place right now.

Onto the fun stuff...

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!

Have You Ever?

1. Jumped out of an airplane?  No, but I want to.

2. Lived alone?  Yes. I loved it and am looking forward to living alone again in the very near future. I am going to redecorate my house and cook lots of Indian food and seafood.

3. Met a celebrity? Yep.

4. Said something to someone that you immediately regret saying? Oh dear lord, yes. I call it "foot-in-mouth syndrome".

5. Had a manicure/pedicure? Yep.

6.  Gotten a hickey? Yep. Shh, don't tell my mom.

7. Owned a pet that was not a dog or a cat?  I had a few fish in my lifetime.

8. Been outside of your home country?  Yep! I've been to Italy (twice), Germany, Austria, Switzerland, France, and Belgium.

9. Kissed your best friend? Yes.

10. Eaten food that fell on the floor?  Dude, 5-second rule. Duh.

11. Met someone online? Lots.

12. Been on TV? Yep.

13. Had braces?  Yep!

14. Gone skinny dipping?  Yep. I liked it.

15. Been to the opera? Yeppers. I'm cultured like that.

Okay, this is a musical, not an opera, but I *have* been to the opera.

16. Been caught making out by a policeman?  Oh God, yes.

17. Sung in public? Tons. I used to do a lot of theatre and was a total drama/band/chorus geek in high school.

Nice wig, huh?

18. Handed out candy on Halloween? Absolutely! I love Halloween.

19. Been snowed in? Oh yeah.

20. Fallen in front of other people? Allll the time.

21. Cheated on a test? In college, yeah. I wrote some notes about prominent sociologists on my shoe. Not my finest moment.

22. Regretted saying “I love you” to someone? Yeah, unfortunately.

23. Finished a meal in a restaurant and realized that you didn’t have your wallet? Nope.

24. Shot a gun? No. I am not a fan of guns.

25. Heard a song that was written for (or about) you? Uh, I don't think so.