Thursday, August 22, 2013

"You're so inspiring!"

I feel like I am constantly apologizing for sporadic posts. The truth is, my life is very busy right now, between work, personal stuff, and trying to have an active social life.

It seems like a lot of people have been noticing my weight loss lately (down to 213.2 as of this morning!). I don't know if it's because I bought pants that fit, or what, but I've been getting a lot of compliments. Some people have even gone so far as to say "You are so inspiring!"

The thing is, I don't feel inspiring. I still feel like the invisible fat girl in the room. And while I am still quite far from my goal and have a long way to go, I know that I am looking better than I have in years. My double chin is almost gone, I can feel my hipbones again, and my pants (the ones I JUST BOUGHT) are too big for me.

But on the inside, I am still insecure, feeling like I have to be funny or outlandish to get positive attention, and when someone tells me I'm attractive, I think they are lying to me.

I'd really love to hear from anyone else who has had to deal with this. Anyone? How long does it take for the inside to match the outside?


  1. I'd imagine this will continue on throughout your weight loss..and beyond into maintenance. I know several folks through OA and FAA who have shared their struggles/ongoing struggle. I have also read several books touching on this phenomenon.

    "How long does it take for the inside to match the outside?"
    I do not know but I know it will take time and WORK... so you may wanna get some books or maybe support.

    I am not overweight but I can relate very well to this inside/outside mindf*ck... <-- yes that is what it is...

    And I wish you the best in your journey. (0:

  2. I still feel like a huge fat person. I guess it's a mental thing, because I don't see myself as I should. It's very weird. Over time, hopefully we'll adjust. You've done great, and should be very proud of yourself. :)

  3. I'm not exactly where I want to be yet, but I still feel like I did when I was 20 lbs heavier. I am still self conscious about pictures, the mirror, you name it. I eat healthy and I run a lot and I do other workouts in between but I seem to be stuck and that doesn't help my "image" of myself. I think it's normal especially when we haven't quiet reached our goals yet.

  4. I'm not sure that is really a weight thing as much as just a body image thing. I've tried to be more positive to and about myself but there are still a lot of times that I don't feel particularly attractive. It's a big time mental thing.