Saturday routines and progress picture!

I am really loving my Saturday routine lately. I get up, throw on workout clothes, and start my day with a Zumba Toning class. It wakes me up and gets me off to a good start, even if I do have to drag myself out of bed (like this morning).

But by the time it's over, I feel awake, refreshed, and ready to take on the day.

I take the back roads, maybe stop at some yard sales, and get cleaned up back at home. Then it's off to the farmer's market for lunch, to see my family (my brother runs a restaurant there, and my mom also works there), and do some shopping.

It's small, but the food is AWESOME. And I swear I'm not just saying that because my brother owns the place.

Oh hello strawberry and cream cheese stuffed french toast.

(Source: Gabrielle Pimental)

I spend some time with my parents and brother, and do a bit of shopping.

(Can you believe my parents are 72 and almost 77? I hope I look at as good as my mom does at her age.)

Then I come home, spend time with my boyfriend and dog, take a nap, make dinner, etc. It's just such a nice way to spend a Saturday.

OH. And I forgot to post this month's progress picture. SILLY ME.

Here we go.

Annnnnnnnnd here's the gif version.

"Have you lost weight?"

This morning, I had two separate people ask me if I've lost weight, and one other told me she could see my weight loss (she knew I was actively trying to lose weight).

The scale has finally kept moving (228.4 this morning, woohoo!) and I am feeling good.

However, I have a confession to make.

I haven't been tracking my points. As you can see by my what I eat post, I eat almost the same thing every day. So I figure I would give myself a break from tracking points and obsessing over that, and lo and behold, it's been a good thing for me so far. I am still trying to make good choices and still eating pretty much the same stuff.

I'm exercising on average for an hour three times a week; usually two Zumbas and maybe a walk or something, but sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less. I am extremely proud of myself for getting through the "arms" song on Monday at Zumba without having to take a break once. Despite gritting my teeth and looking AWFUL and cursing the instructor under my breath, I did it.

I've gotten into a great routine on Saturday mornings of going to Zumba, coming home to get cleaned up, and then going to the farmer's market and visiting with my mom and brother who work there and having lunch. Then I pick up some fresh fruit and veggies and meats and come home for a nap.

In fact, I'm very much looking forward to that nap on Saturday.

Running For The Bullies and more goals.

Yesterday morning, I went to a local park to participate in a 1-mile fun walk to benefit my local animal shelter.

It was really fun and I found myself being completely jealous of the people who have the ability to run an entire 5K and have given myself the goal of being able to run the 5K next year.

I came in third place for fundraising! Thank you so much to those of you who donated!

(Note, I am really not too thrilled with this photo. I cropped it because my gut was sticking out under the shirt, and I am really not happy with my jawline. I cannot imagine how pudgy my face must have looked at 275 pounds.)

I made my first smoothie EVER this morning.
- strawberries
- a very ripe banana
- ice
- unsweetened vanilla almond milk
- two big handfuls of spring mix
- 2 tbsp of PB2 + chocolate
- one contained of nonfat banana yogurt

It was AWESOME and very filling. I will definitely be making more smoothies in my future. Maybe I will use them as a breakfast when I get tired of my usual breakfast burrito. Which I don't see happening anytime in the near future.

Clearly I am a masochist.

Because I want to win an entry for a Spartan Race through Healthy Living Holly's blog.

I've entered giveaways twice for this race, and didn't win, and I keep telling myself that if I do win, I will take it as a sign from the universe that I need to really step up my game exercise-wise.

What I Eat... almost every day.

So it's trendy with bloggers to participate in "What I Ate Wednesdays". I love seeing what other people eat, but I don't participate in it because, after the first time I tried to document my daily intake, I realized that my diet looks the same almost every day.

Here's a rundown of my usual daily eats. It should be noted that I am doing Weight Watchers on my own, using an app that calculates and tracks my points for me. I've been to enough meetings and being a lifelong fat girl, I know all the tips and tricks that are often talked about at meetings. Protein rich snacks! Drink lots of water! Substitute this for that! I don't see the value added by paying $20-$40 a month to weigh in at a location and share my tips and tricks. That's what I have the internet for.

In the morning, I take my pills with water: an antidepressant (holla at my fellow people with depression!), alpha-lipoic acid, and a gummy multivitamin.

Once I get to work, I have breakfast:
- a homemade breakfast burrito consisting of a low-carb tortilla, reduced fat cheese, egg substitute, ham, green peppers, onions, and lots of hot sauce.
- coffee with Splenda and sugar-free flavored creamer.

Lifeblood. (that I can't get centered for some reason, wtf)

Lunch is usually either a can of soup or a frozen Healthy Choice meal, a Laughing Cow wedge or a light string cheese, and a cup of nonfat yogurt (Greek or regular). Maybe once a week I will make a killer salad, and if I do, I shift the yogurt to my afternoon snack and nix the cheese because I will almost always put some sort of cheese on my salad.

Except that meal sucked and so now I eat one of three other meals. Yes, I am a creature of habit.

Snack is a banana or pear, sometimes with PB2, but usually not.

Dinner is 6-8 oz. of lean meat, a serving of a starch (potatoes usually because I love them), and a shitload of vegetables, usually a head of broccoli or a bunch of asparagus, but sometimes green beans or zucchini. Once or twice a week I will make a huge salad with protein on it, tons of vegetables, blue or feta cheese, and light dressing.

Looks boring, tastes amazing.

About once a week I will get a Subway footlong for dinner, but I only do that after exercising. My footlong of choice is 9-grain wheat, oven-roasted chicken, provolone cheese, lettuce, onion, tomato, spinach, pickles, black olives, green pepper, sweet peppers, and honey mustard sauce. I know that this is 21 PP, but it's SO filling and so tasty, and it's not a daily occurrence, so I go with it.

Me when they don't put enough olives on.

I almost always have some sort of dessert unless I am just too stuffed, usually a preportioned light ice cream dessert, because I suck at moderation.

Throughout the day, I drink at least 2 liters of water, and then water all evening when I'm at home. I have a can of diet soda with lunch.

So that's what I usually eat. On weekends, I rarely track what I'm eating because I normally sleep in late (like almost until lunchtime), so I will dawdle over a cup or two of coffee and then have something really good for dinner... Steak, pizza, sushi. Maybe have some self-serve frozen yogurt if I'm in the mood. I try to keep up with drinking water on weekends, but I am a lot more lax with it then.

Kickboxing.

Last night I went to kickboxing for the first, hoping that a more intense workout would jumpstart my weight loss and get the scale to start going back down.

To sum it up:

I puked and then I cried.

The long version:

It started out okay. The class was small, only 7 other women in the class, an instructor, and her assistant. As we started out, I was like, "Okay, I can do this." I even let myself feel a little bit bad-ass for punching and kicking.

HOW I FELT DURING WARMUP

However, by the 10th time through the sequence? I was huffing, puffing, and pouring sweat.

HOW I FELT ABOUT 20 MINUTES INTO CLASS

By the time we got back to the sequence after doing jumping jacks (which, I must say, I NEED A BETTER SPORTS BRA, HOLY CRAP CHIN BRUISES) and punching the bags? I was dry heaving and had to run to the bathroom.

Came back out, and we did 20 seconds of jump-up-then-touch-the-ground-squat-things, then rest for 10 seconds. By the second one, I was dying. I couldn't keep going. I squinched my eyes shut and prayed for it to be over while desperately throwing my arms in the air, completely out of synch with everyone else, not even bothering to jump by then.

Then we got to the core work. Crunches? No problem. I can do crunches.

Then came planks.

I've seen planks done in plenty of blogs by girls with abs that I will never have, girls who do nothing but work out and make disgusting concoctions involving raw egg yolks and liver and other gross things.

NO

Anyway, the instructor got into the plank position, and I froze. My mind said "YOU CANNOT DO THIS." I said that I didn't physically think I could do it. My body froze. I tried to get my body into position and just... couldn't.

Yes, I cried because I couldn't do a plank. My body literally went NOPE and I said "I can't do this" to the instructor and she said DON'T SAY YOU CAN'T. I was able to do one twice for a few seconds but I lost it at that point, because it looks so easy and my body just wouldn't cooperate, and a huge rush of emotion came out of me.

When I was punching that bag and pretending it was my ex-husband's face and stomach and nether regions, I got SO MAD that I let myself get this far out of shape and fat. For believing that I was as worthless as he told me I was and behaving accordingly, thinking that I didn't deserve to treat my body well. Being fat isn't evil. I will always be a little bit fat, even if I lose 100 more pounds.

But not being able to do what my body should be able to do at 32 years old? That is completely unacceptable to me. My body will not function in a reasonable way that I want it to, and that is not okay with me.

One of the instructors had an ass my size. And she looked like a bad ass and I thought she was hot as hell. And she was able to do EVERY SINGLE THING in that class. That's what I want. Forget the number on the scale, forget the pant size, I want to kick ass and take names. I want to be tough again.

Speaking of the scale, it was up this morning. I am incredibly frustrated. After I weigh in for the end of my current DietBet and the beginning of a new one, I am giving the scale to my boyfriend and telling him to hide it and not let me have it back until June 14th.

And I am going back to kickboxing next week. Even though my right knee is killing me and I am so tired today, I am going back. Because 9 women saw me lose my shit last night, and I am going to get through an entire class if it kills me. Which it very well may.

Friend Makin' Monday!

Who has two thumbs and needs more friends? That would be me. So, via Brooke: Not On A Diet, I'm participating in FRIEND MAKIN' MONDAY.

If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this ----week’s topic!

---------------------------------

Summer Fun

1. What is your favorite summer fruit? Cantaloupe! It reminds me of my parents and when it's all nice and juicy and sweet, it's just the BEST. My mom always puts a dollop of whipped topping on it.

(wtf, this is the only picture of it on Google Image? More people clearly need to eat it this way.)

2. Do you know how to swim? Yes, but I always hold my nose when I put my head under.

3. Do you prefer sun or snow? Depends: DO I HAVE TO GO TO WORK AND/OR DRIVE IN IT? I love snow, but I hate having to go anywhere when it's snowing. So I'll say that I prefer snow, with the caveat that I only love it when I don't have to drive.

4. What temperature do you like most inside your home? The boyfriend is a walking furnace, so it's always cold in our house. We've determined that 64 degrees at night is the perfect temperature for him to not sweat his butt off, and I don't freeze to death as long as I am under three layers of blankets and cuddle up to him.

Me at night.

5. Is it humid where you live? Yes, in the summer and I HATE IT. But the good thing about it is THUNDERSTORMS. I love thunderstorms.

BRING IT.

6. What is your favorite food to put on the grill? Steak. Mmmmm. Even though I don't own a grill.

7. Do you prefer to wear a one-piece or two-piece swim suit? Two piece. I like full coverage to the extent of wearing board shorts on the bottom, and I need a good halter tankini top to hold the girls up. Oh the perils of having a large rack.

8. What is your favorite summer drink? Moosehead Light Lime. Go ye and get some now. It's the perfect summer beer.

BEST. Also, does not taste like dish soap like Bud Light Lime does.

9. Do you prefer the pool or the ocean? The pool, forever. I love the ocean for the smell and the beach, but I am deathly afraid of jellyfish and seaweed getting wrapped around my feet/ankles freaks me right the hell out.

10. What are you looking forward to most over the summer? The 4th of July will be my 5th anniversary with the boyfriend, so I'm hoping to maybe do something fun that week with him, but I have no idea what to do or what I can afford.

Discouraged.

So I went to Zumba last night and was absolutely appalled at how fat I looked in the mirror. And that is being 45 pounds under my highest weight.

Then as class went on, and I was in the back corner, unable to see the tiny, peppy instructor, I realize that I was the fattest girl in the room. And I wanted to cry and leave and give up. Because even after busting my ass for the past six months and only losing 30 pounds in that time, no one had noticed that I've lost weight. Seriously. No one except my mother, who knows I'm trying to lose weight and always comments on my weight, regardless of if I am on a diet or not.

I wanted to post a happy entry about how I finally hit 30 pounds lost, and go over what I regularly eat, but that post is going to sit in my drafts folder until I can get past this current phase "Why bother?" And "what's the point?"

We're going down, down...

MY WEIGHT THAT IS.

Anyone else remember the song "Sugar, We're Going Down"? Well, there was a funny parody of it a few years ago:

ANYWAY.

Wouldn't you know, the combination of exercise, TRACKING MY FOOD (cannot emphasize this enough), drinking a metric shit-ton of water, and taking alpha-lipoic acid has resulted in losses on the scale.

(Source... if you don't follow this blog, you should)

SO yeah. It's been a good damn week, and I topped it off with going to a new Zumba studio this morning and getting my butt kicked in Toning class. My arms are going to HURT tomorrow. But it was worth it. Since it was my first class, it was free, but after class, I immediately signed up for a 10-class punch card for only $40. $4 per class? YES PLEASE.

On June 8th, I'm doing a charity fun walk for my local animal shelter.

(Source)

Since the love of my life is my dog (sorry, boyfriend!), as soon as I saw this, I had to sign up. My original fundraising goal was $100... so far, I'm at $285. If you want to donate, here is my FirstGiving page where you can make a tax-deductible donation. EVEN A DOLLAR WILL HELP. All proceeds benefit the York County SPCA. And if you do donate, you will get a postcard featuring beautiful art by my friend Melissa Keays, who did a gorgeous portrait of my beloved pooch. (Please email me with your address if you do donate so I can send it out to you!)

That's all for now. I have a cold. I'm going to cuddle up on the couch and watch bad TV.

Goal Update

So, I kind of slacked off the past couple weeks. I was still tracking my food, still exercising, just getting lax about it. After pretty much staying the same weight (hopping up and down a pound or two), I told myself to cut the crap and stop BS-ing. Track your food, Liz. Drink your water. Exercise. Quit half-assing it.

I also started taking alpha lipoic acid supplements. It apparently helps with your skin, which I can definitely use because it's just insulting to have grey hair AND zits at the same time, but it has also been rumored to help with weight loss.

So yesterday, with the aid of some of that squeeze-this-shit-in-your-water-to-make-it-taste-like-fruit-punch, I drank twice as much water as normal, started taking my vitamins and supplements again, and lo and behold, the scale was down to 233.6 today.

To quote one of my favorite bloggers-of-the-sea: WHO KNEW???

Also, this motivated the shit out of me yesterday. Give it a listen: